Friday, July 24, 2009

After three years

After an absence of three years I find myself back in Cebu and Dumaguete. God knows why and how I stayed away for so long, but now that I'm here only one word adequately describes my state of mind: disoriented.

Perhaps it's that long-standing familiarity with each place that got me thinking that I had it just so. Over here is this road, and over there is that house. That's how it's laid out in the map of my mind. How strange then to find the road and the house there and not there: the road being now an intersection and the house becoming a four-story building.

That's the price, I suppose, for going away. In the long absence other tenants have moved in, with visions different from your memories. I can't really complain because, well, I've divested myself of my investments long ago: you can really only live in one place after all.

And yet no matter how much I tell myself all still feels so strange.