Thursday, May 25, 2006

Warning: religious wars ahead

Wilan Bigay, my buddy from Dumaguete, offered this translation of the code from Curt Jester into traditional VB:


Namespace DVC

Public Class DaVinciCode
Inherits HolyBloodHolyGrail

' Set values, later to be overridden by Dan Brown method
Private monksInOpusDei As Boolean = False
Private jesusMarriedMaryMagdalene As Boolean = False
Private existenceOfPrioryOfZion As Boolean = False
Private bibleCollatedByConstantine As Boolean = False
Private nicaeaCreatedDivinityOfChrist As Boolean = False
Private gospelsLaterEditedToSupportClaims As Boolean = False
Private cupMissingFromLastSupper As Boolean = False
Private saintJohnNotInPicture As Boolean = False

Public Sub Book()

While (peopleWillingToBelieveAnything And christianBashingAcceptable)
bookSales = bookSales + 1
movieHype = movieHype + 1
danBrownsBankAccount = danBrownsBankAccount + 1
historicalAccuracy = historicalAccuracy - 1
artHistoryAccuracy = artHistoryAccuracy - 1
skepticism = skepticism - 1
badWriting = badWriting + 1
If (asLongAsItIsNotTheVirginMary) Then divineFeminineSupport = divineFeminineSupport + 1
Dim mainStreamMediaChallengeCredibility As Boolean = False
Dim excuse As String = "It's a fictional book"
Dim action As String = "Spend hours writing to debunking books complaining that " & excuse
Dim seeContradictionSpendingTimeDefendingFiction As Boolean = False
For Each outlet As media In mainStreamMedia
Dim freePublicity As Boolean = True
Dim notPointOutObviousFlaws As Boolean = True
Dim dontOffendMuslimsAtAllCosts As Boolean = True
Dim christianBashingOkayThough As Boolean = True
Dim misrepresentOpusDei As Boolean = True
Dim askIsJusticeScaliaAMember As Boolean = True

Next
End While

End Sub
End Class

End Namespace


I post it here verbatim, and I make no additional comments. As we all know, programming language preference is a religious issue. People will naturally be sensitive.

4 comments:

  1. Hah. I second that motion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe a PHP port is in order.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fire away, ladies and gents. As for me, I'll just take cover.

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  4. Sorry for the bad indentation. Visual Studio .NET pampered me for that :)

    Wilan

    ReplyDelete